cYniCaLme

I’ve always thought and believed that blogging is one form of expression, not just by writers but also by ordinary people who’s got no place in the great art of literature whatsoever but wants to convey their feelings in a way. Clearly, it doesn’t have any rules…and not everything that you can read in it is creative. It can be like crap and it would still sound good for you because it seemed like you can see yourself through it. I don’t see the point of having somebody critic what you place in your blog most of the time and take it as a literary composition. I’d rather have everything I write in the newspaper and receive extremely vicious comments from people who had established a good reputation over their talents of being punitive of others works because they have to. It’s a job right??? But for others whose aim I do not know what, Are you literature’s St. Peter, and its up to you who belongs in the list? Or are you a literary police, ready to put those who doesn’t obey the laws of writing behind bars? Or does it simply give you pleasure to really make me think that I am nothing compared to you as a writer? …

I don’t even expect myself to be all productive when all I want is to simply express what I think and feel at that moment, it can either be structured or not, but who cares? It’s my ideas, my words, my twisted mind, my blog, my account! So I can do whatever the hell I want with it. I wish some nosy-eccentric*as he calls himself*-overbearing-jerk would get the memo. Unlike him, not everything I write in my blog is practically a piece of art. Hearing a criticism about how I feel is like taking away my right of expression, it doesn’t sound justified to me. I bet it would be the same for all those who live in a so called "democratic" country…Maybe it’s better to be an autistic deaf mute, at least I can say or do whatever the heck I want to express myself even if it is pointless and rather abnormal, it would still be okay. I know that I told this guy that he’s a good critic but damn, he should know where and when it should stop. Its kind of an overkill for me right now.

Does anybody know how exhausting this is??? I need to be driven to go on in this life, hearing my mother every single day pressuring me to take her outside of our miserable life, watching my other siblings suffer from my absolutely cutthroat-bastard-father, going to the school which would closely drive me to insanity with its standards, and struggling to not feel tired with all of this…I can’t afford to fail coz somebody else is paying for my tuition and the fate of, not exactly the world, but my whole family depends on my being a nurse, I can’t really have relationships coz for one thing, I don’t like it and another is my father would kill me, I can’t really go out coz’ I don’t have money, I’m feeling anxiety instead of releasing anxiety in our choir because of our conductor…all of my building up stress would then be relieved by the few waste-of-time yet relaxing activities that I have, like blogging, surfing the net and watching my favorite shows on dvd …the only ones that take me away from all of my nightmares…but unfortunately, I still have someone’s eye to condemn me for something that doesn’t serve to please anybody but myself.

Wow, amen to that… thanks a lot for making my life a lot less miserable. 

PS: Don’t worry, I’m not mad…really…you just happened to hit me at a bleakly wrong time..pardon my words..this is me being overly frank and b*tc*y..

This entry was posted on Monday, July 14th, 2008 at 6:20 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.